The other morning as I stood in the shower a wave of panic come repeatedly over me, "Why God why, why us, why our family?????" These thoughts ran over and over in my mind as I stood with the warm water, that had now turned cold, running over me. Understand that normally my time in the shower is spent letting my anxieties, cares and worries wash down the drain with the soapy water. It's my time to be care free and worry free. So why was this morning so different.
Why does God let things happen to some people/families and not to others? Is it because some of us have more faith, some of us can handle it better than others (definitely not me) or is it dumb luck or bad luck or is it just because of the choices that we make in life. The choices that we make in life could account for some things, because of the free will that God gave us but I don't think that it accounts for everything. And it's a question I really don't have an answer for and probably never will. But it's one that has now stuck with me for days. I believe (you know how you're not sure if it's Him or your imagination) He told me to have patience and endure. These two things for me are not easily done.
As my friend Anne pointed out to me a few years ago, I'm a "fixer", I do not have patience to wait, I like to fix things and fix things now. So for me knowing that there is not a fix/cure for Alzheimer's and that I need to have patience and endure fills my days with dread, worry and anxiety. I would much rather crawl back in bed every morning and curl up next to Greg then go to work (basically because I don't particularly like my job and I'm bored half the time) and because I would rather spend my days with Greg because I know that there will come a day when he will not know me or the rest of the family so there are so many, many things I want to do while we still can. But I also realize that part of my patience and endurance may be to be at my job and endure what is going on there. There are changes coming at my job before the end of the year so maybe that is part of God's wonderful plan. I don't know, but being the fixer that I am I wish that He would let me in on the grand plan really soon, like yesterday.
So here's the fixer in me coming out, a few months ago I attended a women's conference. The evening was filled with love, laughter and connecting with old friends. My take away from it was this "I am not the problem but I am the solution" (the fixer). So with that being said I'm going to ask you to help me be the fixer. This year I have started a group for the Alzheimer's walk on Saturday September 10, 2016. Would you walk or donate to "Greg's Memory Keepers" to help end Alzheimer's. We can all be the fixer to end this horrible disease so that other families do not have to suffer. Please, please consider helping. If you have questions please contact me (campnursezo@gmail.com) or go to alz.org/sd
team name Greg's Memory Keepers. Please consider giving to the walk or come join in September (rain or shine) and walk to raise awareness about Alzheimer's. (Alzheimer's is estimated to be the number 3 killer disease in the US)
