Still Greg

So on September 25th Greg and I will not only celebrate 34 years of marriage, but we will also celebrate the 1 year anniversary of his diagnosis. It's rather ironic that two of the major changes in both of our lives fall on the same day.

When we got married both of our lives changes. I had never lived away from home and my plans to attend nursing school after graduating high school were put on hold for a few years. We moved to Rapid City (or I should say I moved) because Greg was stationed at Ellsworth Air Force Base. We set up house in an apartment (actually we moved three times in less than a  year) with Greg working at the Air Base and me trying to find things to do all day long, as I was not working. Little did we know that I would become pregnant on our honeymoon and that 9 months later Trevor would enter our world and completely change it or that his 4 brothers, Nich, Elliott, Bryce and Kiefer would follow; each would add their own unique love and challenges to our world.

When  Greg received the diagnosis of FTD our world and lives changed yet again. In good ways and in bad ways. We continue to celebrate each day, because you never know what tomorrow brings. We do what we have to do and go on with life because we try not to let FTD control our lives. Greg is STILL Greg he just does and says things differently. He might not remember what day it is, what time it is, what the name of something is, what your name is or  if he feed the dog. But he is still the man that I fell in love with and still love to this day.
Yes along the way there have been trials, tests, hugs, tears, joy, pain, frustration, insecurities, appreciation, deaths, ups and  downs. Would I change any of it, NO. Because  I still have Greg in my life. I know that someday Greg will not be here, the time and place is not for me/us to know. I just have to thank my Lord and Savior for each day that I get to spend with Greg. Greg will tell you that he is ready to go home (heaven), but I'm not ready for him to leave. Greg and I have to thank his former co-worker Scott Batterman for inviting Greg and I to church and also JoAnn Barta (Holst), Greg and I both became saved because for her wonderful testimony about her 1st husband Galen. I also need to thank my sister Kim, she prayed for many years for Greg and I to get saved. Without theses people in our lives (plus many other people, to numerous to list) Greg and I would not be who we are in Christ today, and our children would not be who they are.

Over the last few weeks the word to the following song has come to mean a lot to me, I hope that it touches  you like it has touched me.  For no matter how we change God is still God and will be until He returns.


"Through All Of It"
by Colton Dixon

There are days I've taken more than I can give
And there are choices that I made
That I wouldn't make again
I've had my share of laughter
Of tears and troubled times
This is has been the story of my life

I have won and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy, I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it

You were there when it all came down on me
And I was blinded by my fear
And I struggled to believe
But in those unclear moments
You were the one keeping me strong
This is how my story's always gone

I have won and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy, I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
Through all of it

And this is who You are
More constant than the stars up in the sky
All these years of our lives
I, I look back and I see You
Right now I still do
And I'm always going to

I have won and I have lost
I got it right sometimes
But sometimes I did not
Life's been a journey
I've seen joy
I've seen regret
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it
Oh and You have been my God
Through all of it

Mom You Did What?????

So for years I said that I would never get a tattoo. 
Tattoos were dumb, what good were they, but then I never really had a reason to get one,  well this week (with Kiefer's help) I took the plunge and got one.

A got a tattoo not for myself but to show my love for Greg, my brother-in-law Marty and for so many other people that have affected my life in some way or another, whether those people are still here on earth or if they have gone on to heaven.

You see purple ribbons not only stand for Alzheimer's/Dementia, but they also stand for Loss (Grief), Pancreatic Cancer, Thyroid Cancer, Macular Degeneration, Migraines and oh so many more diseases and disorders, just Google it or look it up in Wikipedia. Those things listed are diseases or disorders that have affected many members of my or Greg's family.
This tattoo is a tangible way for me to always remember Greg, even when he no longer remembers me and to carry a part of him with me once he is gone.
Was I crazy to get a tattoo, maybe but it's done now and will cost way more to remove than it was to get it. Besides now you can always pick me out in a crowd.