Being a caregiver; what does it mean?
It's like being on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
It is repeating the same answer to the same question numerous time,
Being the chauffer, because Greg can't drive any more,
It's taking time off to go to appointments,
It's working full-time and then coming home and working more,
It's reminding Greg to do things,
It's doling out medications,
It's paying the bills,
Taking the car to get serviced, changing the oil, getting new tires(which I haven't had to do thanks to the boys giving them to us as a Christmas present),
It's making all the financial decisions, medical decisions, quality of live decisions and some day end of life decisions,
It's living with uncertainty,
It's learning patience,
It's trying not to resent people or the disease,
It's trying not to blame Greg for everything that has happened or is going on,
It's learning to live on less sleep,
It's learning to grieve the life that Greg and I once had and to mourn the loss of the Greg I once knew,
It's learning not to feel guilty because Greg has the disease and I don't,
It's learning not to bottle up my feelings (so if I let you have it someday, please forgive me),
It's worrying when Greg gets lost,
It's holding Greg's hand so he won't get lost,
It's learning to take care of me,
It's all of these things and more.......
BUT most of all it's ........
TRUSTING in God and the challenges that He has set before me, because He is there is the mist it all,
SPENDING time on my knees, PRAYING when the situation becomes so overwhelming that I feel like I'm sinking
THANKFULNESS that Greg is still with us and that the boys are able to help with dad
ASKING for help when it's needed
KNOWING that I'm not in control, but God is and that is all I need to get through the day.
