Held

So I'm sitting her in the hospital room with my mom, passing time as her sleeps after having an ERCP done because her common bile duct was blocked with all kinds of yucky stuff. And I think to my self how thankful I am that my parents now live in Sioux Falls and not Custer as they did three years ago. If they had not moved I would have spent 7 hours driving to get to her and worrying the whole way there.

Why is it that when something "bad" happens we immediately get fearful, instead of praying and trusting God that He is in control. Is it because it's human nature or is it because we say we trust God but don't know how to do it? For me it's because I don't know how to truly trust God. I try to but it's difficult and hard because I'm so busy trying to hold everything and everyone together, to be strong because that's what mom's ( who are caregivers) are suppose to do.

It's been a busy couple of days, especially with the snow, I've been spending time at the hospital plus driving my dad back and forth because I don't trust him on the roads. Tonight after I dropped dad off at his apartment and started driving toward my house to pick up a few things before heading back to the hospital for the night the song "Just Be Held" by Casting Crowns came on the radio. I've heard the song numerous times but tonight the words became more evident that they had ever been before.

All I need to do is let go and let God HOLD me. Take my eyes off the storm and everything that is going on around me and know that I know He is still on the throne and all I need to do is set my eyes on the cross and the One who is in control. God's arms are hugging me tight in the mist of everything. I just need to accept His hugs and trust in him and everything will be alright.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans"

I pulled in the Hy-Vee parking lot and let the tears flow, like they haven't for a long time, just letting the loving arms of my Savior hold me tight . What a wonderful feeling to be held like I've never been held before.

Hold it all together
Everybody needs you strong
But life hits you out of nowhere
And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting
Chained by your control
There's freedom in surrender
Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away
You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held
Your worlds not falling apart, its falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held
Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm
You'll wonder if I love you still
But if your eyes are on the cross
You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted
In time, you'll understand
I'm painting beauty with the ashes
Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes
In the storm is where you'll find Me
And where you are, I'll hold your heart
I'll hold your heart
Come to Me, find your rest
In the arms of the God who wont let go